I remember the first time I accessed the internet, and a whole new world opened up right in front of my eyes. As my dial-up modem made those iconic crackling and ringing sounds, I would wait to have a frontier of information unfold on my screen.
It did not take long before I had access to information and pictures that would bring me harm. In some ways, the generation I grew up in is the first one to have had their sex education online. There are countless studies to show how the internet and other technology has rewired our brains and hurt our relationships.
Today, it is practically impossible to live in North America and get away from the digital age. It is everywhere we look and has become just as much a part of our life as going to work and eating food. When the internet goes down or we can’t get a cell signal, there is tension in our bodies because of all the work or information we feel we might be missing out on.
As information technology increases, it will have an ever-greater impact on our relationships, including sexual intimacy. Often we focus on the evil that can happen in this digital age, but what if we were to think strategically about how to use technology—to build life into our relationships instead of death? Technology is ultimately what you make of it. You can use it to the detriment of your soul, or you can use it as a tool to strengthen your life.
Please understand, I am not in any way endorsing you and your wife using pornography to enhance your sexual intimacy. When you do this, you are simply lusting after another person you see in the pornography, and your spouse becomes an outlet for your own sexual satisfaction. That’s not love, and it’s not true intimacy.
The digital age has helped me have positive conversations with my children about temptations, God’s desire for us to have true life, and His promises to help us be holy. My wife and I use texting to stay connected with each other throughout the day, and FaceTime while I am on the road traveling. When we encounter health challenges, the digital age allows us to research how to address those problems and be supportive of each other.
In this edition of SEVEN, we explore Sex in a Digital Age. I encourage you to be on guard from those elements that seek to do you harm, but also use the elements that can help you draw closer to God and your spouse. The devil is your enemy—not the digital age.