Bible Verse: “By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

In their book, Love and War, John and Staci Eldridge share a concept that rings completely true in my experience, personally and in my interactions with thousands of couples.  Let me share it with you.

A woman reflects God’s image in many ways but profoundly in her capacity to love.  When a woman’s heart is nurtured and her capacity to give and receive love is healthy, she is in a great place to enjoy her marriage and bless her husband and family.  When this is not the case, this capacity to love becomes distorted and expresses itself in growing degrees of being controlling or needy.  I have counselled many men who have lamented their wife’s controlling behaviour or her insecurity and neediness and asked me, basically, how to change her.  Wrong question.  The better question, men, is “What can we do?”  How can we nurture our wife’s heart and strengthen her capacity to love?   As that grows, the distorted behaviours will diminish.  I know this is true. I have watched it in the lives of many, many couples.  We will focus the rest of this week on specific things we can do to build our wife’s heart but let me leave you today with the centre of it all:  we must do everything and anything we can to enhance our wife’s security.  The simple fact is that love does best in an environment of security.   Safe.  Unshakable.  Permanent.  The way God loves us.

— Neil Josephson, Director of FamilyLife Canada

Further Reading: Romans 8:35-39


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